Strength
by Izzu
Summary: Makai Senki: Based on ep 17. Rekka couldn't understand why Kouga chose Kaoru to be by his side.


Strength

by Izzu

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She would be lying if she said that she didn't have any feelings for the current successor of the Garo title, Saejima Kouga. She would be lying to herself if she said she never dreamed of sharing her life and spending it with that man. Who would have not given their hearts to that man who was so sincere in protecting people and their smiles? She had no doubt that Saejima Kouga changed so many people's life for the better, just like her.

When she heard that Kouga already had someone significant by his side, a part of her had been disappointed. She wondered if that woman was Jabi; after all she heard a lot about them from other Makai priests that she met. Kouga and Jabi had grown up together and were quite close. Their bonds were so strong that Kouga could take Jabi back from the Makai tree and brought her back into the land of the living. The two of them would have made a perfect match.

But no... that was not the case.

The woman that captured Kouga's heart was not Jabi, nor any other Makai priestesses. It was a simple girl, who had been stained by Horror's blood and later saved by Kouga. A simple girl, with no special abilities whatsoever. Rekka couldn't describe how she felt after finding out about it. Why did Kouga chose a girl like that and not Jabi? Or _her_?

When she finally meet Mitsuki Kaoru; due to her pursuing Sedinbale, she could not understand how can a weak-looking girl be Kouga's strength and hope. Yet, she felt that Kaoru was fortunate to be the one Kouga gave his heart to. Thus a part of her had wanted Kouga to let Kaoru know about the seal and spend more time with her. Because there was no telling how much time left would be for them to be together.

xxx

"The picture book... will be completed soon,"

Rekka blinked as she was confused as to why Kaoru brought up to Kouga about a picture book. Though it seemed to be as important to Kouga as it seemed to her. How could she be so calm after hearing such devastating news? How could she accept it so readily like this?

"You didn't need to keep that a secret."

The seal of destruction would eat away into Kouga's life force every time he summons his Garo armour. Every time he use it to defeat Horror he would slowly exhaust his own life. If this continued, Kouga will... Kouga will die! How could Kaoru readily accept that and live the rest of her life without Kouga?

"You don't have to say anything..."

Kaoru started waking a few steps before bending down to pick up something. It was the ornament that had always been tied onto the left lapels of Kouga's overcoat.

"I would have understood even if you didn't say anything,"

As if entranced, Rekka continued eyeing both of them as Kaoru tied the ornaments back onto Kouga's overcoat. Strangely though, Kaoru continued to smile cheerfully before pausing for a while.

"Because Kouga was..."

Rekka's heart skipped a bit as she thought she saw Kaoru nearly breaking into tears and leaned onto Kouga's chest. Instead, she pulled away; looking up towards Kouga... and _smiled_ again.

"Because you are... a protector,"

That one word hit her hard as Rekka watched Kaoru walk out of the building, leaving Kouga behind. Rekka turned to look at Kouga and felt a stab in her heart, seeing the pained look he wore on his face.

"Kouga," she started to say.

_Why aren't you chasing after her?_

Rekka wanted to voice out those words to Kouga but she couldn't. She couldn't make herself say those words. No matter how she willed herself to. Instead, she ran after Kaoru herself...

xxx

"Are you really okay with that?"

Rekka couldn't believe how easily Kaoru accepted the fact that Kouga could die any time soon. How could she not want to tell Kouga to stop fighting and spend the rest of his remaining days with her? How could she be... so like the many Makai priestesses whose husbands were given the task to become Makai knights? To freely accept their loved ones to leave them so soon. To be parted with their dear spouses and not question the unfairness of that situation!

To be so... selfless and so willing to sacrifice their own happiness for the greater good.

That's why she hated being a woman. Was it because they could do nothing to help, thus their only choice is to just accept their predetermined fates? How could she just keep watch and allowed Kouga to continue fighting?

"It's okay. I made my decision."

"To try to always smile in front of Kouga," said Kaoru as she walked past her.

Rekka didn't expect to hear such answer. She thought Kaoru didn't understand the seriousness of the situation with Kouga. She thought Kaoru was just a simple, powerless woman.

"You..." Rekka gasped as she watch Kaoru almost on the verge of collapsing.

"No! I'm not the weak woman that you think I am. I'm not crying,"

_Yes_, Rekka acknowledged. _You're not weak. You're very strong, stronger than me_.

To be able to keep her composure in front of Kouga, not letting Kouga see how afraid she was of losing him; that was not something a normal human girl could do. Rekka have seen so many girls her age broke down when faced with situations like this, but Kaoru faced this with her head held high. Because she promised Kouga to keep on smiling for him. Even if Rekka saw that it wasn't so easy to accomplish, especially right now.

Finally she understood, why Kaoru is a source of strength for Kouga. Why Kouga could find the strength to keep on fighting, no matter the odds stacked on him.

_"I shouldn't waste that time to spend with her,"_

It was not that Kouga didn't care whether or not he could spend the rest of his life with Kaoru. It wasn't because Kaoru had resigned to the fact Kouga would continue fighting a losing battle.

"That's right. You're not crying,"

Rekka hastily left the area before her own tears could start falling. She wouldn't be able to stand watching Kaoru crying herself hoarse, trying to contain her fears and worries for Kouga's safety. She couldn't do it. That was something that she could not beat, that kind of bond between Kouga and Kaoru. On how, both of them tried their best to keep strong for each other. On how... neither of them dared to show any weakness, for fear that one of them would falter in their paths.

Kouga didn't want to tell Kaoru the truth because he didn't want her to worry about him. He didn't want to waste any time with her because he wanted to concentrate on pursuing the red mask person and undo the curse. Kaoru didn't show her tears to Kouga because she didn't want Kouga to worry about her. She wanted Kouga to be able to fight without worries and not become a burden to him.

That kind of strength... she couldn't imagine herself to be able to understand it quite well. Not yet, at least. It was something that she didn't expect, coming from Kaoru.

Then again, Kaoru was that person whom Kouga tried his best to protect and keep safe. She couldn't imagine how it had been in the past to have changed those two. To make them become so close, to be able to become each other's strengths. It was definitely something she could not come in between.

Even if she's not a Makai priestess, Kaoru was definitely very strong. Rekka always thought that being a woman means they are weak.

Somehow... right now, she no longer felt that being a woman is such a bad thing.


End file.
